Pushing past uncertainties
I'm facing some uncertainties beginning this year.
I'm finally taking my last semester in a program that I've fallen out of love with a long time ago. I'm not worried about whether or not I'll finish, I know I will - I'm feeling the pressure of the classes I am taking. Three classes while also working in the field I study is exhausting my energy for each day. I end up lamenting that I am not able to spend the time otherwise with people I love and doing things I care about. I won't let this frustration get to me though - I am determined in finishing one way or another.
I did get hit with a surprise yesterday, my roommate of several years has decided to move in with his girlfriend. I'll miss him very much. I had the boat rocked by the fact that I'll need to learn to live with someone else soon. Who that will be I still don't know as he will still be around for a couple more months.
I'm interested in more casual writing this year. The period of time I felt the best about my long-form writing was posting on Bear back in 2024. A consistent drip of a couple hundred words a day, revised, reviewed then published to a small, anonymous audience, in retrospect, did wonders for my confidence in writing. I look back on the pieces that I put out as remarkably lucid, unlike the dozens of bloated drafts I've made since.
Few people in my personal life know about this blog I have on here. I usually share with them my Substack because I like the ability to send directly to their email. I know paid Bear has the same ability, but I enjoy the idea of putting out these short, low-risk posts into the ether. This feels like exercise. I'm not entirely worried about splitting between the two places.
My friend in Egypt shared with me an article he is writing about his nostalgia of Alexandria for my thoughts. I can't help that every time I read something of his I feel such an intense longing. Saudade is said a lot in my family and it is really the only word that applies for how I feel for my friend. I've been reading his old posts and thinking about him very much lately.
Expect a bit more on here. Sign up for the RSS or leave me a comment on the guestbook.
-bzg